One of the biggest tensions I see in workplaces today — especially among early-career professionals and overwhelmed teams — is the disconnect between what employees think their priorities are and what their managers expect them to be. This mismatch creates a dangerous loop of confusion, overwork, and quiet resentment. People stay late not because they want to impress — but because they feel like they have to in order to survive.
And often, the manager doesn’t even realize that’s happening.
The result? A lose-lose situation. Deadlines are missed, talented team members burn out, and productivity dips. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Let’s talk about why this happens — and how to have the kind of conversation with your manager that helps both of you win.
The Problem: When Everything Feels Urgent, Nothing Really Is
We’ve all heard it before:
“Can you just get this done ASAP?”
“Need this by EOD.”
“Quick favor!” (that turns out to be 6 hours of work)
When every task is framed as top priority, employees lose the ability to make real tradeoffs. This constant urgency floods your to-do list and makes it impossible to determine what’s actually needle-moving. It’s like trying to put out five fires with one hose — you end up soaked, exhausted, and probably still on fire.
And what’s worse? Managers aren’t always trying to be unreasonable. Sometimes they genuinely don’t know what’s already on your plate or how long something takes. They’re reacting to pressure from their boss or client and passing it along without context.
So now you have employees stuck in a cycle of:
- Trying to do everything,
- Not knowing what’s most important,
- Staying up late to “catch up,”
- Burning out — silently.
Example: The Real Cost of Misaligned Expectations
Let’s say you’re juggling three tasks this week:
- Finalizing a client deck (your manager said they need it “soon”)
- Prepping quarterly metrics (due Friday, but no reminders sent)
- A new ad hoc request for a competitor deep dive (labeled “urgent” in the email subject)
You assume #3 is the priority because of the wording. You spend 6 hours on it, delay task #2, and stay late Thursday finishing the metrics. Friday morning, your manager asks:
“Hey, did you finish the deck for the client? That was the most time-sensitive.”
😩
This isn’t just a time management issue — it’s a communication one. Had you known how your manager ranked these tasks, you could have shifted your approach entirely.
Why This Happens: Lack of Transparency + Assumed Understanding
We often assume our manager knows how long a task takes, how full our plate is, or what we’re already prioritizing. But the reality is: they don’t — unless we tell them.
Managers may assume that:
- A report takes an hour, not five.
- You’re only working on one or two projects, not seven.
- You’ll ask for help if you’re overwhelmed (but many people don’t — out of fear, perfectionism, or pride).
On the flip side, employees assume that:
- “Urgent” means drop everything.
- Their manager sees everything they’re juggling.
- If they’re quiet and efficient, they’ll be rewarded.
These assumptions set both sides up for disappointment.
The Fix: Bring Visibility to Your Workload + Start the Prioritization Conversation
If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning in competing deadlines, here’s a framework to help you get clarity without sounding like you’re complaining or incapable.
Step 1: Create a Prioritization Snapshot
At the start of the week (or when projects pile up), build a simple list that includes:
- What you’re working on
- The estimated time each item takes
- What you believe the current priority level is
- Any deadlines (real or assumed)
Example:
| Task | Est. Time | My Priority Rank | Due Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| Finalize client deck | 3 hrs | High | Friday |
| Quarterly metrics | 6 hrs | Medium | Friday |
| Competitor deep dive | 4 hrs | Low (assumed) | Not stated |
Step 2: Use This to Open a Conversation
You can say:
“Here’s how I’m currently planning to prioritize my workload. Based on this list, would you make any changes? I want to make sure I’m focused on what’s most important.”
This does a few things:
- Shows initiative — you’re not just dumping problems, you’re offering a plan.
- Opens the door for your manager to clarify priorities or deadlines you weren’t aware of.
- Reveals if there’s a mismatch in time estimates or expectations.
Let’s say your manager thought the competitor deep dive was 30 minutes of Googling — but it’s actually a 4-hour project. Now you can ask:
“I want to do this well — would you like me to scope this out in less detail, or should I push the other work back?”
You’re now co-owning the solution together instead of suffering in silence.
What If You’re the Manager?
This blog isn’t just for employees. If you’re a manager or team lead, you have a responsibility to create clarity. Ask yourself:
- Are you assuming people know what you want?
- Are you labeling things as “urgent” out of habit?
- Have you asked your team how long something takes or what else they’re balancing?
A weekly check-in with questions like:
- “What’s on your plate this week?”
- “What are you prioritizing and why?”
- “Is there anything I’m missing that could impact your capacity?”
…can go a long way.
Final Thoughts: Urgency Is a Tool, Not a Default
If everything is urgent, nothing is urgent. And when urgency becomes your team’s default state, it means strategy has left the building.
Creating space to talk about priorities — and the time things actually take — is what sets high-performing teams apart. It builds trust, improves morale, and helps everyone do better work without burning out.
You don’t need a fancy project management tool to fix this. Sometimes, all it takes is a clear list and an honest conversation.
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