Something I’ve noticed a lot lately — both in myself and in my clients — is this pattern where people know exactly what they need to do to move their business forward… but still avoid it.
Instead, they spend time re-editing old flyers, signing up for random classes, tweaking their website for the 100th time, or filling their days with endless busywork. The to-do list never ends, but the actual needle-moving task? That gets pushed.
And I want to be clear — this isn’t about laziness or disorganization.
What I’ve uncovered with many of my clients is that the root cause is often fear.
More specifically: fear fueled by negative hypotheticals — especially when the action involves putting yourself out there.
“What if they think I’m annoying?”
“What if I say the wrong thing?”
“What if they don’t respond at all?”
“What if I ruin my chance?”
Most of the time, the task we’re avoiding is the one that requires us to be visible:
Sending that follow-up. Pitching yourself. Sharing a personal story. Launching your offer. Asking for feedback. Setting a boundary.
These things carry emotional risk — and that’s exactly where the fear spirals begin.
While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, below are some of the reframes and strategies that have worked for me and my clients. They won’t apply to everyone exactly as-is — and that’s okay. Everyone’s fear shows up differently, and the best path forward is the one that makes sense for you.
Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t — and most importantly, do what actually works for you.
🔁 1. Shift the Perspective
Instead of obsessing over how your message might be received, ask yourself:
“How would I receive this if someone sent it to me?”
Would you judge a friend for reaching out with genuine intent? Probably not.
So why do you assume others would?
This mindset shift helped one of my clients cut down her outreach time by 90%.
She used to spend over an hour writing and re-writing emails — spiraling through how every sentence might come across. Once she started reading her drafts through her own lens instead of trying to anticipate judgment, everything changed.
She’d reread her message once, ask, “If I got this, how would I feel?” — and send it.
Those emails that used to take hours? Now they take minutes. And she’s getting replies — not just sitting in fear.
📊 2. Let the Data Guide You
If you’ve ever thought:
“What if they think I’m annoying?”
“What if my service isn’t worth it?”
“What if I put myself out there and no one cares?”
Pause. And ask:
“Has anyone actually said that?”
Most of the time, the answer is no. Or it’s one person out of a hundred.
Fear often treats one potential rejection like it’s the default — but the truth is, most people respond positively… or don’t respond at all. Silence isn’t rejection. And rejection isn’t the end.
Early on in my coaching journey, I spiraled on this:
“What if someone thinks my coaching isn’t worth the money?”
No one had ever said that. Meanwhile, I had 100% satisfaction, returning clients, and referrals. But my fear didn’t care — it just latched onto the worst-case.
That’s when I realized I needed to root my mindset in facts.
Your wins are your evidence.
If you’ve helped people — track that. Remember it. Let those data points retrain your fear.
🧠 3. Understand the Real Worst-Case — It’s Often Not That Bad
When you actually play out the worst case, it’s usually not as bad as your brain is making it out to be.
- What if they don’t respond?
→ Now you know and can move on. - What if they unsubscribe?
→ Then they weren’t the right fit. - What if someone says no?
→ That’s clarity. That’s direction.
I had a career coaching client who was terrified of leaving her job. She kept asking:
“What if I hate the new role?”
But she was a top performer. Her team loved her and would gladly take her back. The “worst case” she feared… was literally just going back to what she already knew.
That’s not failure — that’s exploration. And it gave her the courage to make the leap.
⚖️ 4. Balance the Hypotheticals
The fears we avoid most are often tied to being seen.
Getting on camera. Pitching yourself. Posting online. Making an ask.
These actions feel risky because they open us up to judgment.
But they’re also the exact things that build momentum.
So if you’re spiraling in “what ifs,” try to even the scale:
For every:
“What if they hate this?”
Ask:
“What if this brings in a dream client?”
“What if they’ve been meaning to reach out and just needed a nudge?”
“What if this makes someone feel seen or inspired?”
We’re often quick to dismiss positive outcomes as fluff — but those possibilities deserve just as much weight.
Even when things don’t go as planned:
- A launch that flops? Now you know what to tweak.
- An unsubscribe? Your list just got more targeted.
- A “no” on pricing? You now know who your real audience is.
Action always teaches you something. But you only get the lesson if you take the step.
🧭 5. Ask the Real Questions
Sometimes what we’re avoiding isn’t the task — it’s what it represents.
Visibility. Rejection. Responsibility. Change.
So ask yourself:
- Am I avoiding this because I don’t want to do it — or because I’m afraid of what happens after I do it?
- Is this something that feels right to me — or just something I think I should be doing?
When you dig into the “why” behind the fear, the way forward becomes clearer — and often gentler.
👋 Overall
The things we avoid the most are often the ones most connected to our growth. And yes — those are usually the things that require putting ourselves out there.
Whether it’s launching, following up, pricing, showing up online, or simply saying “I’m ready” — it makes sense that fear would show up there too.
But it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
There is a way to move forward that feels grounded, aligned, and doable.
Take what you need from above, experiment with what feels right, and most importantly — give yourself permission to do things your way.
You don’t have to follow someone else’s exact blueprint.
The version that works best for you is the one that reflects you.